Monday, February 6, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
On the plane!
Wow. Bloody Mary + airplane food + typing a very long blog entry = spinning head and sleep. At least I'm not the dude that already puked in the airplane bathroom...
Well folks, here it is. The start of AVN weekend Season 3.
We have a TON of new faces this year. The only returning cast are myself and Jiggs. We have another 15 fucking people with us.
This time we are in Palms Place. two bedroom suite. Oh, and we have 2 of them.
On the agenda:
- Prize fight tonight (http://www.palms.com/events/wba-title/ - Ramos v. Rigondeaux)
- Table at Moon tonight - prime placement
- Expo tomorrow
- Table at Vanity tomorrow night (Vanity is in the Hard Rock hotel, where the awards are being held)
- AFC and NFC championship games to be watched somewhere cool
And tons more.
Maybe shooting range, maybe oxygen bars, definitely strip clubs (Spearmint Rhino, that means you).
This season, we'll also have a guest blogger taking up my bandwidth, you'll meet her soon.
Ok, plane is getting ready to descend. We'll chat soon
Well folks, here it is. The start of AVN weekend Season 3.
We have a TON of new faces this year. The only returning cast are myself and Jiggs. We have another 15 fucking people with us.
This time we are in Palms Place. two bedroom suite. Oh, and we have 2 of them.
On the agenda:
- Prize fight tonight (http://www.palms.com/events/wba-title/ - Ramos v. Rigondeaux)
- Table at Moon tonight - prime placement
- Expo tomorrow
- Table at Vanity tomorrow night (Vanity is in the Hard Rock hotel, where the awards are being held)
- AFC and NFC championship games to be watched somewhere cool
And tons more.
Maybe shooting range, maybe oxygen bars, definitely strip clubs (Spearmint Rhino, that means you).
This season, we'll also have a guest blogger taking up my bandwidth, you'll meet her soon.
Ok, plane is getting ready to descend. We'll chat soon
Season 2 - Season Finale - The last night (finally!)
So as I ended in the last post from last year, things took a turn for the epic. After getting into The Bank on Sunday night, we discovered that there was an amateur pole dancing contest that was happening in the club that night, center stage.
Wow.
For those of you who want to see, I have videos of some of these performances. The talent was UNREAL. Those women were doing things with their bodies that one can only see within the confines of Las Vegas.
Well anyway, I think I mentioned that Joel and Mercia joined us that night. And I don't feel like checking my last post, so if I didn't mention it, here it is. They came with us to The Bank that night. Joel was on a fucking tear on the dancefloor and in the club in general. For an old dude, he has got some spunk (dare I say swag?). He was making his way around to every group of people and having fun with them. You must picture a person who looks like the old guy from the movie "Up". Picture that guy clubbing harder than a a giant human E pill. Intense. But fantastic.
At a point, he lost Mercia somewhere on the dancefloor, and we were loosely looking for her while enjoying the pole dance contest. The entire club was in awe, I am sure she was standing looking speechless in a corner.
Well, we eventually found her, and myself Joel and Mercia bounced from the club a little early to enjoy some Vegas party favors back in our room upstairs.
That's
When
Things
Got
Out
Of
Control
The elevator ride back down to the casino floor level consisted of random people who were in the club practically putting Joel on their shoulders when they saw him in the elevator with them. This guy is fucking made of magic. He got an entire club to praise him. People in that elevator were envying me for even knowing Joel. It only continued the feeling of being famous that started the moment we checked into that hotel.
As the three of us are drunkenly making our way through the casino floor and up to the penthouse, Joel decides to grab some random, gorgeous girl who was walking the opposite direction, and asked her if she wanted to party with us. Anyone else would have gotten slapped, but this girl, whom none of us had ever met before that moment, had a response that was pleasantly shocking: she said "Sure!", in the cutest Australian accent.
Fucking tits.
So the now FOUR of us take the elevator up to the room, open the door, and we find a half passed out Telef and Sparkles on the couch. I guess they left early too, they were exhausted. We greeted them and proceeded to the master bedroom for a Vegas snack. The hot Aussie and I immediately started getting to know each other better (wink wink) and were oblivious to whatever else was going on in the room. It was a big room, what can I say. In the middle of all of this, at what must have been around 3-3:30AM, I hear the rest of the group come through the doors hammered...and are those girls I hear with them? Eh, probably, who cares, I got my own here, and she looks like an Australian Jamie-Lynn Sigler. So yeah, I wan't quite ready to investigate.
At a point, she started to show signs of a girl that was about to pass out, and I was not about to be that dude who hooks up with passed out girls. I think there is a word for that, as well as a poster boy who plays QB for the Pittsburg Steelers. But that's neither here nor there. (Anytime I get the opportunity to bash Ben Rapistburger, I take it!!!). So I look at her and say "OK, Do you want to go back to your room so you can sleep? Do you want me to walk you back?". She shakes her head no, and even though she's passing out, she wants to stay. So I say ok, you can just chill on the bed, I am going to the main room to chill and join the apparent party on the other side.
That is when I look up and notice...
JOEL AND MERCIA ARE FUCKING ON THE FOOT OF THE SAME BED THAT I WAS JUST HOOKING UP WITH THAT CHICK ON!!! I think I even got a casual "Oh, hey Dion." while he was doing his thing. Being that we have that kind of relationship, I naturally continued the conversation like normal without thinking twice...and the reason is that it WAS natural in that setting. We're talking about the dude that pioneered the 900 phone sex business. Welcome to that world.
So I leave the master bedroom to them continuing their coitus on one end of the bed and the Aussie on the other end, passed the fuck out. I go over to the other side of the penthouse to the other bedroom, and it's a full house! They brought back 3 pretty hot girls from the club (one of which looks like my ex which was freaky). Well, my girl was passed out, Joel and Mercia were busy, and it was about 4AM. So what did I do? Continue to drink of course! We lined up shots, we played flip cup, we had a dance party, the works. I even kindly informed everyone of the situation in our smash room, to which some people investigated by peeking their heads in and saying hi...literally. It's weird, I know, but makes sense in that setting!
About a half hour after I left the room, the Aussie comes out with a pretty shocked and terrified look on her face. All she said was "Do you know what I just woke up to?!" Needless to say, we were all shocked, but laughing our asses off. She bolted to the bathroom in the other room and I followed her in the room to make sure she wasn't going to oh, I don't know, press charges? You could imagine my relief when she still wanted to stay and party with us and I even solidified it by making out with her. So crisis averted, let's continue to drink.
Of course at this point, neither Jiggs nor myself had shirts on, and we were all at the point where we were drinking out of the decorative pieces in the room.
Then, they emerged.
Joel wearing nothing but boxers and white stunna shades (white fancy sunglasses for those of you who are lame and don't know)
Mercia wearing a full FISHNET catsuit, with the crotch cut out
Now one would think that there lovely young ladies that my friends escorted back to our rooms would have freaked the fuck out upon this sight. However, their reaction was the opposite from what we all expected...they screamed in excitement, saying "You're the guy from the dancefloor!!" and gave them both big hugs and the drinking/dance party continued.
As things wound down for the evening, Joel and Merica bounced, the girls went back to their hotel, everyone else departed to the beds to sleep. Jon, the Aussie, and myself were still up and chilling at around 6:30AM. That's when Jon an I realized "We must be in Paris, because we both see an Eiffel Tower in the near distance". So of course, that now became our focus. It was great, we were both extra flirty with her, she was flirty back, she sat on my lap, I picked her up, but her on Jon's lap, he reciprocated, etc. Looked like we were in business. Jon then picked her up fully and brought her to the bedroom....
Yadda Yadda Yadda, we were wrong, and it turned out that this chick decides to switch from team whiskey to team vodka, and didn't care for mixing both in her Foster's at the same time.
Pause.
So yeah, needless to say, as a result of Vegas goodies and my drunken frustration at 7 in the morning, I kinda Hangover'd the room...
I fell at one point and sorta passed out, and I woke up like a half hour later to Aussie's feet leaving the room, very similar to how Stu woke up in the movie. She actually tried to come up to me and say something, but I believe my response was somewhere along the lines of "Get the fuck out of here"
My anger really only lasted until she left, then I was happy and laughing hysterically about it with Jon until he left for the airport at like 9:30.
My part of the trip ended with me taking a comped limo ride to the airport, leaving Tendo and C-Teezy to roam the strip until their flight at like 10PM that night.
And now, I present.
AVN IN VEGAS SEASON 3!!
New cast.
New location.
New lost memories.
Same old porn and Vegas!
Wow.
For those of you who want to see, I have videos of some of these performances. The talent was UNREAL. Those women were doing things with their bodies that one can only see within the confines of Las Vegas.
Well anyway, I think I mentioned that Joel and Mercia joined us that night. And I don't feel like checking my last post, so if I didn't mention it, here it is. They came with us to The Bank that night. Joel was on a fucking tear on the dancefloor and in the club in general. For an old dude, he has got some spunk (dare I say swag?). He was making his way around to every group of people and having fun with them. You must picture a person who looks like the old guy from the movie "Up". Picture that guy clubbing harder than a a giant human E pill. Intense. But fantastic.
At a point, he lost Mercia somewhere on the dancefloor, and we were loosely looking for her while enjoying the pole dance contest. The entire club was in awe, I am sure she was standing looking speechless in a corner.
Well, we eventually found her, and myself Joel and Mercia bounced from the club a little early to enjoy some Vegas party favors back in our room upstairs.
That's
When
Things
Got
Out
Of
Control
The elevator ride back down to the casino floor level consisted of random people who were in the club practically putting Joel on their shoulders when they saw him in the elevator with them. This guy is fucking made of magic. He got an entire club to praise him. People in that elevator were envying me for even knowing Joel. It only continued the feeling of being famous that started the moment we checked into that hotel.
As the three of us are drunkenly making our way through the casino floor and up to the penthouse, Joel decides to grab some random, gorgeous girl who was walking the opposite direction, and asked her if she wanted to party with us. Anyone else would have gotten slapped, but this girl, whom none of us had ever met before that moment, had a response that was pleasantly shocking: she said "Sure!", in the cutest Australian accent.
Fucking tits.
So the now FOUR of us take the elevator up to the room, open the door, and we find a half passed out Telef and Sparkles on the couch. I guess they left early too, they were exhausted. We greeted them and proceeded to the master bedroom for a Vegas snack. The hot Aussie and I immediately started getting to know each other better (wink wink) and were oblivious to whatever else was going on in the room. It was a big room, what can I say. In the middle of all of this, at what must have been around 3-3:30AM, I hear the rest of the group come through the doors hammered...and are those girls I hear with them? Eh, probably, who cares, I got my own here, and she looks like an Australian Jamie-Lynn Sigler. So yeah, I wan't quite ready to investigate.
At a point, she started to show signs of a girl that was about to pass out, and I was not about to be that dude who hooks up with passed out girls. I think there is a word for that, as well as a poster boy who plays QB for the Pittsburg Steelers. But that's neither here nor there. (Anytime I get the opportunity to bash Ben Rapistburger, I take it!!!). So I look at her and say "OK, Do you want to go back to your room so you can sleep? Do you want me to walk you back?". She shakes her head no, and even though she's passing out, she wants to stay. So I say ok, you can just chill on the bed, I am going to the main room to chill and join the apparent party on the other side.
That is when I look up and notice...
JOEL AND MERCIA ARE FUCKING ON THE FOOT OF THE SAME BED THAT I WAS JUST HOOKING UP WITH THAT CHICK ON!!! I think I even got a casual "Oh, hey Dion." while he was doing his thing. Being that we have that kind of relationship, I naturally continued the conversation like normal without thinking twice...and the reason is that it WAS natural in that setting. We're talking about the dude that pioneered the 900 phone sex business. Welcome to that world.
So I leave the master bedroom to them continuing their coitus on one end of the bed and the Aussie on the other end, passed the fuck out. I go over to the other side of the penthouse to the other bedroom, and it's a full house! They brought back 3 pretty hot girls from the club (one of which looks like my ex which was freaky). Well, my girl was passed out, Joel and Mercia were busy, and it was about 4AM. So what did I do? Continue to drink of course! We lined up shots, we played flip cup, we had a dance party, the works. I even kindly informed everyone of the situation in our smash room, to which some people investigated by peeking their heads in and saying hi...literally. It's weird, I know, but makes sense in that setting!
About a half hour after I left the room, the Aussie comes out with a pretty shocked and terrified look on her face. All she said was "Do you know what I just woke up to?!" Needless to say, we were all shocked, but laughing our asses off. She bolted to the bathroom in the other room and I followed her in the room to make sure she wasn't going to oh, I don't know, press charges? You could imagine my relief when she still wanted to stay and party with us and I even solidified it by making out with her. So crisis averted, let's continue to drink.
Of course at this point, neither Jiggs nor myself had shirts on, and we were all at the point where we were drinking out of the decorative pieces in the room.
Then, they emerged.
Joel wearing nothing but boxers and white stunna shades (white fancy sunglasses for those of you who are lame and don't know)
Mercia wearing a full FISHNET catsuit, with the crotch cut out
Now one would think that there lovely young ladies that my friends escorted back to our rooms would have freaked the fuck out upon this sight. However, their reaction was the opposite from what we all expected...they screamed in excitement, saying "You're the guy from the dancefloor!!" and gave them both big hugs and the drinking/dance party continued.
As things wound down for the evening, Joel and Merica bounced, the girls went back to their hotel, everyone else departed to the beds to sleep. Jon, the Aussie, and myself were still up and chilling at around 6:30AM. That's when Jon an I realized "We must be in Paris, because we both see an Eiffel Tower in the near distance". So of course, that now became our focus. It was great, we were both extra flirty with her, she was flirty back, she sat on my lap, I picked her up, but her on Jon's lap, he reciprocated, etc. Looked like we were in business. Jon then picked her up fully and brought her to the bedroom....
Yadda Yadda Yadda, we were wrong, and it turned out that this chick decides to switch from team whiskey to team vodka, and didn't care for mixing both in her Foster's at the same time.
Pause.
So yeah, needless to say, as a result of Vegas goodies and my drunken frustration at 7 in the morning, I kinda Hangover'd the room...
I fell at one point and sorta passed out, and I woke up like a half hour later to Aussie's feet leaving the room, very similar to how Stu woke up in the movie. She actually tried to come up to me and say something, but I believe my response was somewhere along the lines of "Get the fuck out of here"
My anger really only lasted until she left, then I was happy and laughing hysterically about it with Jon until he left for the airport at like 9:30.
My part of the trip ended with me taking a comped limo ride to the airport, leaving Tendo and C-Teezy to roam the strip until their flight at like 10PM that night.
And now, I present.
AVN IN VEGAS SEASON 3!!
New cast.
New location.
New lost memories.
Same old porn and Vegas!
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